


After All This Time

by Underneath



Category: Daredevil (TV), The Punisher (TV 2017)
Genre: F/M, Reunion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-07-01 13:37:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15775179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Underneath/pseuds/Underneath
Summary: She was being a fool. No amount of watching for him, of hoping, and waiting, and setting flowers in the window, was going to bring Frank back into her life. Karen had done a pretty good job of convincing herself to stop looking for his shape in every crowd, but every once in a while she’d see someone who resembled him and she couldn’t help the flip flop in her heart. Like this guy who had caught her eye, she couldn’t help but study him. It was the way he stood and moved, just like Frank, but his hair was quite a bit longer than she had ever…He turned fully. It was him. It was Frank fucking Castle.





	After All This Time

It had been a long winter. Though the sun was out, and the first hints of green were emerging from the tips of tree branches, Karen pulled her jacket tighter around herself. A deep chill had settled inside her. It had been there so long she was starting to think it was permanent, a part of her now. It could have started with the ghosts that had chased her from Vermont, or with any of the tragic and terrifying things that had happened in the last couple of years. She wasn’t sure when the chill had started, but she didn't mind it much anymore. Maybe everyone felt this way. Maybe it was a part of being alive; people and circumstances, bombarding, then retreating from your life in seasons, always feeling the ache of change.

Karen turned her face to the sun and breathed in deep. She wasn’t going to let the melancholy get to her. She’d sent out her latest story to Ellison early this morning, and was actually free for the day. How novel, a Saturday all to herself; no one to chase down for an interview, no pile of paperwork to sift through, no righteous cause. Not today.

She’d driven herself out of Hell’s Kitchen on this lazy morning, deep into Brooklyn, for a change of scene, a change of pace, and the best farmer’s market in the boroughs, so she’s been told. It certainly was beautiful; taking over the large field of a public park, stall after stall of vibrant colors and fresh scents. There were lots of people and strollers and dogs, but despite the rather large crowd, it was pleasantly quiet. Karen could hear a musician playing guitar somewhere nearby.

Karen strolled through the lanes, mostly looking, but buying a piece of fruit here and there. It was lovely. She hadn’t been this relaxed in… she couldn’t remember. She rounded a new corner, following the delicious aroma of some sort of baked goods, when she startled. She caught sight of broad shoulders, a strong jaw with a full beard. She shook her head at herself.

_Still imagining him after all this time, huh? Get over it, Karen. He’s gone._

In the first few months after the whole ordeal at the hotel, the bomb, the elevator... after the horrid scene at the carousel that she’d had to write about, Karen looked for him everywhere she went. Every shop she entered, every train ride, every walk, she kept an eye out for him. She thought she spotted him sometimes, but it was never him. Her heart would jolt, and then sink with disappointment. She was being a fool. No amount of watching for him, of hoping, and waiting, and setting flowers in the window, was going to bring Frank back into her life. Karen had done a pretty good job of convincing herself to stop looking for his shape in every crowd, but every once in a while she’d see someone who resembled him and she couldn’t help the flip-flop in her heart. Like this guy who had caught her eye, she couldn’t help but study him. It was the way he stood and moved, just like Frank, but his hair was quite a bit longer than she had ever…

He turned fully. It was him. It was Frank fucking Castle.

Karen’s heart slammed against her ribs, her pulse booming in her ears. She quickly ducked around the side of the closest booth, where he couldn’t see her if he looked up. She didn’t know why she was hiding- she just needed a minute.

 _Shit_. He’s here. He’s well.

After wanting to see him for so long, she finally had her chance. Karen peeked back around a stack of crates to get a better look at him. He looked good. The healthiest she’d ever seen him. His hair was getting long enough that he was pretty close to achieving the man-bun he had joked about so long ago. He wore a flannel button up. Karen’s grin was growing by the second as she feasted her eyes on him. He looked good. Warmth bloomed in her chest, seeing him so relaxed and loose.

He looked over as a women sidled up to him, handing him a to-go cup of coffee. He took it, smiling at her. _Smiling._ The woman was beautiful, with long strawberry blonde hair and sparkling eyes, talking up at Frank happily. Suddenly, Frank and the coffee lady were ambushed by two kids, a boy and a girl. The girl grabbed Frank’s arm, jabbering to him animatedly while Frank ruffled her hair.

The warmth in Karen’s chest was pierced with ice. _Holy fucking shit._ Karen quickly hid again, her heart hammering. Was this even real? Did he have a whole normal life out here… and he never… he didn’t even try to…

A little light headed, Karen turned around for one last look, just to be 100% sure. She peeked around the crates once more. There they were, Frank, and the gorgeous woman, and the happy kids, perusing an apple cart. A happy family.

Karen felt her eyes smart. She had to get the hell out of here. As she hurried to her car she tried to rationalize her feelings. Frank was clearly doing well, and she should be happy for him. She was only upset, on the verge of tears, because… _what?_ She’d hoped he’d want her in his life? She wished _she_ was the one bringing him coffee and strolling through the park with him? _God_ , she was a fool. Frank had met Karen during the darkest period of his life, of course he wouldn’t want to be friends- or whatever they were. The moments they’d shared had meant _so much_ to Karen, but for all she knew, Frank probably just wanted to forget. She’d hoped… _Stop. Don’t go there, Karen._ Frank’s life was tragic. He was a husband without his wife, a father without his kids… if he somehow found happiness again, Karen should be glad for him. She should stay away.

And that was the crushing truth.

She increased her pace as she made it to the parking lot, trying to resist the urge to run.

“Karen?”

 _No, no, no, please, no._ Karen didn’t slow down, hoping against hope that she hadn’t heard what she’d just heard.

“ _KAREN.”_

She’d heard correctly. That was Frank Castle’s rough voice calling her. She’d recognize it anywhere. She slowed down, but it took her a little while to stop completely. She forced all emotion from her expression before turning around to face him.

He was there, only a few feet away. Looking at her with those goddamn eyes. As different as he looked, with his longer hair and new clothes, he still wore those fucking combat boots. It would have made Karen want to laugh, if this wasn’t the least funny moment she’d experienced in a long, long time.

He was staring at her, looking dazed, like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. _Well, the feeling’s mutual._

“Frank.” She said, bland.

“Hey, Karen.” His voice was soft.

Karen had no response to that. She simply waited to see if he had anything else to say.

Frank analyzed her silence, not knowing what to make of it. She could barely put a name to it herself.

“I saw you… kickin’ up dust trying to get out of here so fast. You didn’t wanna say ‘hi’?” Frank had that side smile, but his eyes looked hurt. _What the hell is he sad about?_ He could have gotten in touch with her any time, for months now, and she would have been so damn happy to hear from him.

Karen swallowed back the lump in her throat.

“I wasn’t sure you’d want me to. I didn’t want to interrupt you, with your… people…“ She finished feebly, looking down, and tucking her hair behind her ear for something to do.

“Karen, of course I want you to. Of course I do.” Frank said, almost a whisper, confusion on his face.

They were standing awkwardly far apart. From a distance, they’d look like a couple who were fighting. Frank took a few steps closer, but froze when Karen retreated a small step back.

“Frank,” Karen said, trying to be brave, to end this quickly with some dignity, rather than start bawling in front of him like she felt like doing. “You look really good. Happy. I’m glad to see it. You should, uh, you can head back to your… ” she was grasping for the right word and coming up with nothing.

“The Liebermans,” Frank said, “I’m here with David and his family. They’re friends.”

 _Oh. Ok._ That put the whole Frank’s-New-Family mindfuck in a different light. But still, what could she say to him? If he wanted her in his life it would have been really easy. But, he’d completely ghosted. Karen, quite naturally, had assumed it was because he was off in the shadows, doing _Punisher_ … stuff, in too much pain, or in too much danger to reach out to her. Seeing that he was fine, living a normal life, walking around Brooklyn farmer’s markets looking like a hipster lumberjack, she was more convinced by the second that if she mattered to him, he would have gotten in touch.

“Well then Frank, you should head back to the Liebermans. They’re your _friends_.” She said pointedly, turning to leave.

Frank clicked his tongue at that and moved fast, spinning her back around, then immediately taking his hands off of her. Karen wouldn’t look at him, so her only option was staring determinedly at the ground.

“I’m sorry. _I’m sorry, Karen_. I should have gotten in touch- let you know I was ok- checked in on you.” Frank was bending down, leaning from side to side, trying to get her to look at him. But she refused. “You have to know that I wanted to see you. After _everything_. You have to know I was dying to talk to you. ”

“Then why didn’t you?”

Frank sighed. Karen peered up at him. They just stared at each other for a long moment. Karen was reminded of the elevator, she wondered if he ever thought about it… those few moments... S _top, don’t think about that now._

“At first, I was a mess, and I thought it wasn’t safe. And then, time went by… too much time… I was trying to get my head on straight. I don’t want to drag you down in to my shit. You should have a good life, without me fucking it up.”

Karen laughed then, but it wasn’t a nice sound. It was cold and hard.

“That’s bullshit.” Karen glared at Frank, eyes on fire. “You don’t want to drag me down? Frank, you don’t know shit about my life… you couldn’t drag me down anywhere that I haven’t been before and _survived_. I’ve been fighting for my life since I was in high school. Wilson Fisk framed me for murder. I was put in jail, and my first night in lock-up a guard tried to kill me. He tried to strangled me until I pretty much scratched his eyes out. That’s not even the half of it, Frank. Not even close.”

Frank’s eyes were wide and horrified. He barely seemed to notice that he had rushed closer and was now holding both of her arms in his big, hands rubbing gently, probably soothing himself more than her.

Karen thought about all of the other things she could tell him, about Ben, about Wesley… but she couldn’t speak the words. Vaguely remembering they were in a parking lot where anyone could overhear them, she whispered up to him.

“You couldn’t fuck up my life. You _saved_ my life. Over and over again, like I was important to you. _You’re_ important to _me_ … and all this time I didn’t know if you were even alive. You just disappeared.” _Dammit._ A few tears finally broke and were rolling down her cheeks.

“Jesus, Karen.” Frank pulled her into a fierce hug even as her arms just hung limp at her sides. He held her tight, she could feel his breathing getting heavier. Then he was leaning back, rubbing his hands up and down her arms, looking her over, everywhere, as if to make sure that she was ok, uninjured. His eyes made their way up to hers and she could see she had devastated him. His twitching hands rose to her face, tucking her hair behind her ears as his thumbs tried to wipe away her tears.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

Karen was pierced. She didn’t want to make him upset. She wasn’t sure why she’d just told him all of that. It was the shock of seeing him so unexpectedly… the dismay and anger at the thought of him keeping himself away from her with some misguided notion that she was better off without him. _NO._

Karen finally wrapped her arms around him.

“I know, Frank. I know.” She said into his neck, “I kind of understand why you stayed away, but just… don’t.” Her hands made fists on the back of his shirt. “ _Don’t_.”

Frank’s arms tightened around her. “OK.”

They stayed like that for a long time, probably too long for a moment being had in a parking lot. Eventually Karen leaned back to look at him, cheeks a little flushed. Frank’s eyes were a slightly red-rimmed, suddenly a little shy.

“Its really good to see you,” she breathed, a flickering warmth beginning to glow inside her.

“Its good to see you too, Karen.” He closed his eyes and let his forehead rest against hers.

He inhaled, like he was about to say something, but was quiet for so long, Karen thought he’d changed his mind. When he did speak, his voice was low, almost a whisper.

“I missed you. I wanted to see you. I wanted to see you so bad, but the timing never felt right. I wanted to be better before I…” He trailed off, shaking his head slightly. “And then you stopped putting the flowers in the window.”

Karen jolted. _He had been checking? He had been so close? After all this time?_

 _“Frank Castle.”_ Karen whined, torn between laughter and frustration. “Of course I stopped leaving them out. After a few months I felt like an idiot for leaving them out.”

“I’m the idiot.”

“Yes, you are _.”_ She said, bringing up her fist to lightly pound on his chest, making him laugh. She left her hand there, spread her fingers, her palm over his heart.

Frank made a noise in the back of his throat that gave Karen goose bumps. He stared straight into her eyes as he pressed one of his hands over hers, holding her to his heart.

“I won’t be any more.”

“Good.”

Karen could feel his heart beating. It was pounding just like hers. Her skin was electrified. She bit her lower lip. Frank’s eyes darted toward the movement, his free hand floating up from the small of her back to her waist, drawing her closer.

The moment was heady, dream-like, Karen breathed out a little sigh. The sound snapped something inside Frank, and he moved, bringing his mouth to hers and crushing her body against him.

Karen could have wept. His kiss was beautiful. It was like a question and an answer at the same time; soft but strong, intense but controlled, needy but hesitant, warm, warm, _warm_. Karen opened her mouth to him, sighing again as his tongue met hers. He angled his head from one side to the other, deepening the kiss, making his own low groan as he felt Karen’s fingers threading their way into his hair. Karen’s head was spinning, she was sure her knees would have buckled if he hadn’t been holding her so close, so secure. They lost themselves in the bend and sway and breath of the moment.

When Frank slowed down and pulled away gently, Karen blinked up at him, allowing a big dopey smile to spread across her face. He grinned back like a fool, the tips of his ears red. They held each other, just smiling and staring and having an entire conversation without words.

“Pete?! _Gross!”_

Both Frank and Karen turned sharply to see the young Lieberman kids standing a few feet away gaping at them. The girl burst into giggles, covering her face. The boy was clearly disgusted.

“Mom, Dad! We found him! He’s been makin’ out with some lady in the parking lot!”

“ _HEY._ Quiet you.” Frank said, rolling his eyes. He took his hands off Karen but didn’t step away. He turned to her, looking more flustered than she’d ever seen him. It was wonderful.

In a moment, the adult Leibermans appeared, holding hands and looking eager to catch Frank in the act. The woman’s eye brows were reaching the sky as she looked between Frank and Karen. The man however, doubled over in laughter. Frank tensed.

“Karen Page!” David Leiberman all but shouted. “I knew it! I freaking knew it. Finally!”

“Alright, alright.” Frank said, waving David down.

Karen was nonplussed. “Hi… have we met?”

David was wiping the laughter tears from his eyes, blatantly ignoring Frank, and extending a hand to shake Karen’s.

“Well, we haven’t technically met, but I’ve been watching _this guy_ pining over you for months.”

“Goddammit, David.” Frank groaned, pinching his hand over his eyes.

Karen was in heaven. She burst out laughing and gave Frank’s arm an empathetic squeeze.

From there, the six of them fell into easy conversation. It was incredible, being near Frank. Socializing, watching him endure the teasing of his friend’s, seeing the amazing report he had with the kids, enjoying the light touches he’d experiment with: a hand on her back, tucking her hair behind her ear, entwining their fingers. Karen felt warm, a deep new warm.

It had been a long winter. But, the sun was out, the first hints of green rising up from the earth, resurrected.


End file.
